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What the fuck? First it was Dodgeball was unacceptable, now: School Bans Tag After Parents Complain. What the fuck? Seriously? Tag? TAG?

In 15 years you know what games kids will be playing at school? None, because teachers and parents want to avoid kids feeling bad because of the competitive nature of games. Instead kids will sit inside their tiny little hard plastic bubbles roll outside and stand around for 20 minutes for recess, then roll back inside where they will receive an education that is at the best schools only 20 years out of date. They will all weigh 250lbs at age 9 and every parent in America will be part of a class action lawsuit with McDonald’s because their kids are fat and it has to be someone else’s fault. Couldn’t possibly be that parents banned every single entertaining outdoor or otherwise physical activity for these kids and stuffed them inside protective bubbles to save them from the dangers of the world. The children of the future will be fat, lazy, poorly educated, with weak immune systems due to lack of exposure, and no interpersonal skills whatsoever, because of parents and teachers so obsessed with making kids feel “safe” and “special” that they have ensured the death of the human species.

If a kid is getting chased around and doesn’t want to be they need to stand up for them damn selves. Learn how to say “I don’t want to play and walk away.” Learn when to engage an authority figure to help solve the problem. I got hassled in elementary school by kids from time to time. I dealt with it and I’m not too bad off if I do say so myself. Kids need to learn how to deal with pricks and getting hassled, because the world outside of school is filled with those same people and if you don’t have experience with them and know how to walk away from the situation or how to ask for help if it escalates to that point, you’re more or less fucked for the rest of your life.



  1. Absofuckinlutley! Kids at my work aren’t allowed to climb on the equipment, swing on their feet, climb ropes in the gym, or go the “wrong” way up slides. I remember when I was a kid and wearing a bike helmet was a needless and ridiculous precaution (remember those days? that was nice). I hate the fact that the perfectly sensible idea of child safety has mutated into this paranoid MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR protection racket. I predict that by the time I have kids many will be wearing “every day helmets”…you know, just in case.

    I think that this seed was planted in the mid 80’s, when we had the first generation in history raised more indoors than outdoors. They’re all grown up now, and transfered their unfamiliarity with the outdoors into fear for their children.

  2. “The children of the future will be fat, lazy, poorly educated, with weak immune systems due to lack of exposure, and no interpersonal skills whatsoever…”

    This will all be balanced out by the fact that kids are having sex at younger ages now. That should counteract all of those symptoms…except maybe being poorly educated.

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