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I stumbled upon Mix Tape Therapy: You bitch. I mix. Problem solved a month or more back when she had a delightful assessment of Paris Hilton’s dysfunction. She’s funny, and though I’m sure I have or will disagreed with her on something she also seems to have a good handle on dissemination of the advice. It’s not like the Advice Mallet, where I have no training and nothing but contempt for you, you might actually get something worthwhile from this advice column. Anyway I was reading a letter she posted a few days ago from “The Craigster” and I felt like sharing a chunk of her response, as I found it fairly damned hilarious. These are responses to a survey intended to assess whether or not a person is a sex addict. Here’s her first 11 responses:

1. Do you frequently fantasize or think about sex? (um, YEAH)
2. Have you made promises to yourself or others to change or stop some of your sexual behavior, and then broken these promises? (”yes honey, I promise to stop masturbating to the thought of your hot boss riding me like a bullet train”)
3. Does your sexual desire cause you to associate with people you wouldn’t normally be with or do things you wouldn’t usually do? (two word: college years)
4. Has frequenting sex sites on the internet for sexual stimulation become a habit for you? (that’s a good Friday night right there)
5. Do you frequently engage in sexual chat in sexually oriented chat rooms on the internet? (Nope, can’t type and jerk off at the same time)
6. Is masturbation a frequent activity for you? (I’ve been married for over 10 years, so yes)
7. Do you have or have you had an extensive collection of pornography or other X-rated material? (just the stuff granny left me in her will)
8. Have you gotten rid of a pornography collection and then started collecting it again?(Once again, blame it on granny!)
9. Do you with some regularity rent (or buy or make your own) X-rated videos? (I like to call it “independent suburban film art”)
10. Do you like to “channel cruise” on TV to find sexually stimulating scenes, or do you subscribe to cable in order to view sexually explicit programs? Or do you stare at scrambled (blocked) sex channels for the occasional fragments of clear images of sexual material? (that could classify my entire year in seventh grade)
11. Are you attracted to phone sex? (I can’t fit the whole phone piece in there – damm that tight spot!)

Her entire response to the letter is good. Funny and potentially helpful, so if you have issues, she might be someone to bitch at about them. If I had any problems, I might be inclined to seek her advice on them. Lucky for me I’m perfect.


One Comment

  1. Thanks for the unsolicited support – you rock!

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