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Dear Uncle Sean,
Is there any hope? I mean for me, being a woman and all. And by hope I mean: is there any hope for me being a successful, strong, modern, independent woman?
Sincerely,
Waits Hopefully On Reply, Eagerly

Dear WHOR,E,
Independent woman? Uncle Sean does not understand what this means. It frightens Uncle Sean, threatens his burly manliness, and makes him want to lash out violently. Uncle Sean can only hope this “independent woman” noise means that you will get him a sandwich without being asked. Uncle Sean is going to go get drunk in the hopes of killing the brain cells housing the terrifying ideas you have introduced to him in this letter.
-Uncle Sean

Are you stumped by a problem? Confounded by an enigma? Do you yearn to be struck with Uncle Sean’s mighty Advice Mallet? Email Uncle Sean at advicemallet @ gmail . com

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